【导语】笑话是一个汉语词汇，拼音是xiào hua，意思是引人发笑的话或事情。笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象，具有讽刺性和娱乐性。其趣味有高下之分。以下是本站为您整理的《儿童简单英语小笑话精选》，供大家学习参考。
【篇一】：The Frog and the Psychic Hotline
A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.
The frog says, This is great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?
No, says the psychic. Next semester in her biology class.
【篇二】：Is the Cat There?
A man absolutely hated his wife"s cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park.
As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway.
The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home.
Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat!
He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat would always beat him home. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right
again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there.
Hours later the man calls home to his wife: Jen, is the cat there?
Yes, the wife answers, why do you ask?
Frustrated, the man answered, Put that son of a bitch on the phone, I"m lost and need directions!
【篇三】：Shoulda Said
This guy walks into a bar with his golden retriever. Hey, can I get a drink on the house if my dog talks for you?
Dogs can"t talk, pal. But if you can prove to me yours does, I"ll give you a drink. If not, I get to kick your ass.
Okay, says the guy. He turns to his dog. Okay fella. Tell me -- what is on top of your doghouse?
Roof! The man turns and smiles at the bartender.
THAT ain"t talking! Any dog can bark!
Okay boy. Tell me -- how does sandpaper feel?
Ruff!
What the hell are you tryin" to pull, mister?
Okay, okay, says the man. One more question please. Okay buddy, tell me -- who is the greatest ball player who ever lived?
Ruth.
The bartender beats the hell out of the guy and throws onto the sidewalk outside of the bar, then throws the dog out next to him. The dog stands up and looks at the guy.
Geez. D"ya think I shoulda said DiMaggio?
【篇四】：Running Shoes
Two guys in a jungle come around a corner and meet a lion head-on pawing the ground.
One guy ever so carefully reaches into his knapsack and slowly takes out a set of Nike running shoes, never once breaking eye contact with the lion.
The second guy hisses: What are you doing, you can"t outrun the lion And the first guy says: No, but all I have to do is outrun you!
【篇五】：Pet Parrot
Harry says to his pet parrot Smitty, What do you want for your birthday? Smitty says, I want to get laid.
So Harry takes Smitty to a parrot whore house, gives him a hundred bucks, and Smitty goes upstairs with a hot-looking parrot whore.
After a few minutes, Harry hears really loud screeching and squawking, so he runs upstairs and into the room.
There"s Smitty, holding down the whore parrot and yanking out her colorful feathers.
Harry, says Smitty, what the hell are you doing?
Smitty says, For a hundred bucks I want her nude!
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